So. what do the Med types not understand about the words:"You're skint!" Has the heat gone to their heads? We know they need to knock off for six hours in the afternoon because wiping down tables takes it out of them, but strikes! Are they insane?
Someone says your bank has Junk Status and you get their drift. Bit short does not cover it. So what do they do? Put in a bit of overtime? Nope, it's down tools and take to the streets in protest. Just when a few euros are heading their way. Tourists go away to relax and escape their troubles. Street riots are not a must-see. They'd rather take a ride on an Egyptian camel. At least his bad temper is fair enough. Fat Europeans are no fun. Neither are daft Greeks and Spaniards determined to dump on their own beaches
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
Monday, 28 June 2010
Zerg a Tad Creepy?
Ever heard of a Zerg? Does creep mean any more to you than the weirdo on the train? Chances are he knows all about zerg, creep and all the other cyber treats on offer. Good luck to him.
Till now I'd say he was a saddo in a class of one. Get a life etc. Except that this is the Big One for millions who go ape at the mention of StarCraft 11:Wings of Liberty to be released on July 27. It's a computer game. A fantasy space conflict gubbins. Players total millions worldwide and nowhere more so than Korea, where professionals get rich like rock stars and live tournaments attract 120,000 spectators.
Is it me, or is there something strangely chilling about a country that can't get on with the folk next door having so much fun blowing up other worlds? Especially with a big bomb sitting there, just longing for a bit of action. Still, all is not lost. Scandal strikes! A bit of cash on the side is all it takes to get players to throw the game and upset the gamblers. A few quid in the real world always did go a long way. Twas ever thus.
Till now I'd say he was a saddo in a class of one. Get a life etc. Except that this is the Big One for millions who go ape at the mention of StarCraft 11:Wings of Liberty to be released on July 27. It's a computer game. A fantasy space conflict gubbins. Players total millions worldwide and nowhere more so than Korea, where professionals get rich like rock stars and live tournaments attract 120,000 spectators.
Is it me, or is there something strangely chilling about a country that can't get on with the folk next door having so much fun blowing up other worlds? Especially with a big bomb sitting there, just longing for a bit of action. Still, all is not lost. Scandal strikes! A bit of cash on the side is all it takes to get players to throw the game and upset the gamblers. A few quid in the real world always did go a long way. Twas ever thus.
Saturday, 26 June 2010
Vote Rory for PM
If Cameron fancies a spot of babysitting any time soon can Rory Stewart have a shot at his job? A Harvard human rights professor and author of two best-sellers, officer in the Black Watch and diplomat in Montenegro who walked 6,000 miles across Iran, Nepal, Pakistan, India and Afghanistan, he speaks 11 languages, though the Serbo-Croat is " a bit rusty." A nice bloke too . The man is MASSIVELY over-qualified.
Makes you wonder what possessed him to stand as a Conservative candidate. He won - naturally. Now he is saying that we ought to think again over Afghanistan and worry more about Pakistan, where the real problems lie. "It is mission impossible in Afghanistan, " he says. I believe him. I'd believe him if he said he could walk on water.
With all the dross floating around Westminster they have finally seen sense and elected him to the Commons Foreign Affairs Select Committee. It's a start. This guy is only 37 but I am convinced he is the second coming and we'd better appreciate him a whole lot more than the we did the last one.
Makes you wonder what possessed him to stand as a Conservative candidate. He won - naturally. Now he is saying that we ought to think again over Afghanistan and worry more about Pakistan, where the real problems lie. "It is mission impossible in Afghanistan, " he says. I believe him. I'd believe him if he said he could walk on water.
With all the dross floating around Westminster they have finally seen sense and elected him to the Commons Foreign Affairs Select Committee. It's a start. This guy is only 37 but I am convinced he is the second coming and we'd better appreciate him a whole lot more than the we did the last one.
Thursday, 24 June 2010
A new age of austerity
So they reckon our kids are looking at a new age of austerity. The budget means we may be back to sweet rationing. Well that'll be good for their teeth. Notice a slight lack of sympathy? Dead right. Austerity? When they are all signing up for the new iPhone? Poor mites, all this cost-cutting, how will they cope?
Some of us have been here before. Black and white tellies, paraffin heaters and Stork not butter.
No, never that. They used to ask if you could tell the difference? Were they kidding? That stuff used to stink, you could tell if a family was skint simply by smelling the kids. They would reek of the stuff.
That and the paraffin. Central heating was a distant dream, not installed until I left home. You'd just put an extra coat on the bed. Now they are saying that new measures to cut waste will mean our kids doing without the little extras. We won't be affording the foreign holidays, Kumon and music lessons. Except that we will. Because the kids always come first. As my old dad used to say: "Debt? Why worry about it? Let them that wants it worry about it!" Worked for him.
Some of us have been here before. Black and white tellies, paraffin heaters and Stork not butter.
No, never that. They used to ask if you could tell the difference? Were they kidding? That stuff used to stink, you could tell if a family was skint simply by smelling the kids. They would reek of the stuff.
That and the paraffin. Central heating was a distant dream, not installed until I left home. You'd just put an extra coat on the bed. Now they are saying that new measures to cut waste will mean our kids doing without the little extras. We won't be affording the foreign holidays, Kumon and music lessons. Except that we will. Because the kids always come first. As my old dad used to say: "Debt? Why worry about it? Let them that wants it worry about it!" Worked for him.
Monday, 21 June 2010
Alive and kicking Ass
Did it! All 1,025 miles of it. That's from stormy John O Groats to sunny Land"s End in eight back-breaking, bone-shattering days. One guy was throwing up by the roadside and had to get into the bus with only 20 miles to go. Another wheelied in with Will You Marry Me Jo? on his T shirt. Judging by her delighted squeals the answer was yes.
Our man got there just before the police escort. About two stones lighter and barely able to speak. This was harder than the Marathon, harder than the Ironman and just about any other challenge he has set himself. He got the prize for the grittiest ride after struggling on to do 120 miles on an empty, sicky stomach.
Loads didn't make it but for those that did it was a moment of total jubilation, followed by "Who wants to see my saddle sores?" One to pass on. Savlon used by the shedload. Still knackered today though and it has yet to sink in for most of them, but when it does - take a bow boys and girls we are proud of you!
Our man got there just before the police escort. About two stones lighter and barely able to speak. This was harder than the Marathon, harder than the Ironman and just about any other challenge he has set himself. He got the prize for the grittiest ride after struggling on to do 120 miles on an empty, sicky stomach.
Loads didn't make it but for those that did it was a moment of total jubilation, followed by "Who wants to see my saddle sores?" One to pass on. Savlon used by the shedload. Still knackered today though and it has yet to sink in for most of them, but when it does - take a bow boys and girls we are proud of you!
Friday, 18 June 2010
Bad Day on a Bike
Almost Dead Tour - grave day yesterday. Our man thought he had escaped the lurgy. Wrong. In this event food equals energy, equals distance on the bike. Chuck up your breakfast and disaster looms. Heading down from Manchester, 120 miles, with no fuel in the tank, it looked like the end.
But the buddies were there. These are the support team. They chat, ride in front to create drag and they stay with you. It took 14 hours with Rich, Paul, Andy and Rob hauling our sick man along. With 12 miles to go they suggested getting in the bus. No, not yet.
So the wheels got rolling finally into Ludlow Racecourse where the rest of the riders were lined up. And you know what? They sang "We are The Champions!" as our hero staggered in. All of them. What a welcome! Today our man feels 80% fit and ready to give it another go. Respect!
But the buddies were there. These are the support team. They chat, ride in front to create drag and they stay with you. It took 14 hours with Rich, Paul, Andy and Rob hauling our sick man along. With 12 miles to go they suggested getting in the bus. No, not yet.
So the wheels got rolling finally into Ludlow Racecourse where the rest of the riders were lined up. And you know what? They sang "We are The Champions!" as our hero staggered in. All of them. What a welcome! Today our man feels 80% fit and ready to give it another go. Respect!
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Not Dead Yet Tour Update
The trick is to do it with your own two feet. Our man did it in bare feet. The Not Dead Yet Tour that is. This morning the hardy crew had to tackle the 1,489 feet Kirkstone Pass in the Lake District straight after breakfast. At times the gradient is 1 in 4. Some bottled it and went in the bus. Others pumped pedals all the way to the top. Our man took the silly bike shoes off and walked it. Still got there.
There's the ASBO Biker, a probation officer who has a tag on his bike. All his mates back home know where he is at any point on the 1,000 mile route from John O Groats to Land's End. Bet he's an inspiration to the bad boys.
Still a long way to go. Plenty of it pretty like now, and some not so, like Carlisle. Still hoping to make Penzance on Sunday if the Achilles tendons hold out.
There's the ASBO Biker, a probation officer who has a tag on his bike. All his mates back home know where he is at any point on the 1,000 mile route from John O Groats to Land's End. Bet he's an inspiration to the bad boys.
Still a long way to go. Plenty of it pretty like now, and some not so, like Carlisle. Still hoping to make Penzance on Sunday if the Achilles tendons hold out.
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