Things people say " I don't want to hurt you!" Oh God, here it comes, he"s about to slice my heart with a hedge trimmer and serve it with salad to his new girlfriend.
Or "It's not about the money!" when a claim as thick as a bull's backside gets dumped on the solicitor"s desk. "Would I lie to you?" Er, is that a question that really wants an answer because naturally it would be "yes, yes, absolutely all the time YES."
Why do we do it? Is it just to get through the uncomfortable moments? "I just need a bit more space!" Like the whole house, street, country would be great, just get right out of my life. "It's not you, it's me" It's NEVER me, Lover of the Year 1993, so why don't you just take a hike and get over it? And "with respect" What! What's coming next is about to sear your ears, pop your eyes and steal your breath, leaving you gasping with its total lack of common courtesy. We all know what a pile of doggie doos it all is but we go on hoping. " I do love you, really" Ahh, better to believe in vain than not bother at all. Roll on Valentines Day
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