I've been a Smurf and Page Three Miss Santa Claus in the line of
work. Page Three was the hardest, having to hide my boobs under a tiny bolero number and twist from the waist. And stay there. Dire. What
those girls go through!
The guy behind the lense was an expert,
but my pic didn't make the paper. I'm no busty beauty that's for sure.
Dressing for the job can be tough, getting it right even harder, so what
about the fashionistas in the front row of the fashion shows?
See
them in The Times today and weep! Pity the poor souls, wearing a small
fortune and failing. They try so hard, but sequin coats, leopard prints
circa Bet Lynch in Coronation Street and a long orange skirt that looks
like a can of Tango? Hardly the stuff or dreams is it?
Are we all
going to race to the shops to look like them? I think, on balance, I
prefer the big blue Smurf suit. With the white hat. Stylish, non?
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