Downs Syndrome calls for courage and honesty and some people have it in spades. They leave you staggered. Take Tom Bickerby writing in the Times today. His little lad Alex was born recently with Downs. You expect the usual " We will love him for what he is" stuff, and that's there.
But gut-wrenching honesty? Tom says; "I can't imagine ever loving Alex enough to make this future tolerable." He's thinking of disability, abnormality and dependence and it overwhelms him. I know very little about Downs. I know strength and courage when I see it. This is a dad with both and he humbles me.
Sometimes we can't face the truth. Sometimes the reality is not as bad as we perceive it. To look the facts in the face, admit to your feelings of total powerlessness and then still carry on, that takes real guts.
Tom was depressed beyond measure when he was introduced to another Downs Syndrome child. Even while admitting that the boy was sweet, " Friendly, healthy and active," he saw no ray of hope. It's a brave man who can say so. People expect parents in this situation to be saints. Tom knows he isn't. That fact frightens him. He is man enough to admit it. Somehow I think he and Alex will get along just fine.
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