Monday 28 November 2011

Celebrities or War? Tough Choice

Total time and money waster this Leveson business. So speaks a hack who has doorstepped a celebrity or two in her time. Let me save them all the trouble. Let's all agree that:

Phone hacking is wrong, though I still don't know how they did it. I have never met a reporter with the techie savvy needed. They had to rely on someone else for that. Had I wanted to I could have got Milly Dowler's number from one of her friends. Or given Joanne Rowling's child a letter to put in her bag for her mum. Easily done.

We all know when a line is crossed. Unless we are sociopaths and not many of those make it into journalism. Celebrity mags are not journalism. They are fantasy, none more so than the headline which put me off a job there. It was " I Was Raped By My Brother The Vicar." Even I could see that was a pile of horse crap, and this from one who shared a page with Freddie Starr's famous hamster.

Interesting to see how this inquiry differs from the Chilcot investigation into the Iraq war. Taken so much more seriously. In Times 2 today they ask: "Is this the end of our obsession with celebrity?" and on the same page is, " I was falsely imprisoned by Boy George." That would be a no then.

Thursday 24 November 2011

Irish Taking the Mick?

Happy days are here again. The sun has got his hat on, says the Irish Finance Minister Michael Noonan. Sporting a big grin in Dublin yesterday he said: "We think the euro is a very strong currency," So that's alright then Michael is it, Holy Mother you sure had us worried for a moment there, so you did.

Blarney ? It's not called the luck of the Irish for nothing. They've actually got growth of 1.6% over there, though God alone knows how. Mr Noonan chirrups gleefully that he does not consider the break-up of the Eurozone even a remote possibility.The crisis is over.

Mind you, he does worry a little bit about the riots in the streets of Athens. "We don't want widespread protests. We are not going down that road. We have very co-operative people in Ireland." Are we all talking about the same place here? Where a march has them building barricades? Granted that's their northern neighbours. Still, would you bet your wages on the Irish Finance Minister? Thought not.

Tuesday 22 November 2011

New Dads Camping Out in Hospital Horror

New dads should stay on the wards overnight, just in case their partners need a midwife. Of course, it is a new dad saying this. He would. My view? Send them home and give the girls some peace.

As a mum of three, two born in hospital, I know the score. Hospital wards are noisy places. New babies cry a lot. Breastfeeding is clumsy at first and takes time to learn. Nobody needs a guy on the ward offering advice, even if he is your husband.

Most babies are born at night. That means there has already been one long night and day before the first one on the ward rolls around. The boys are complaining that it's wrong to send them home at 9pm. They want camp beds.

What horror is this? Go home guys. Get some kip. Come back refreshed, shaved and smelling nice. With chocolates and fruit, the last to get things moving. Stitches turn toilets into torture chambers, best to get the first one over with, without him banging on the door asking if he can help.

New mums lack confidence but they learn best when left in peace. A well-meaning man dithering about only undermines them. He'll get his chance, he's got a lifetime of bonding ahead, just give the girls on the maternity wards a break and an early night, please?

Saturday 19 November 2011

Cliff Hangs On

Does anyone give a stuff whether Cliff Richard is gay or not? Really, do we care? Stephanie Marsh writing in The Times today seems to think she has solved the puzzle. It's an interesting piece, but not for that.

Cliff makes the point that we have no right to know how he thinks or feels about anything. He shows what he wants us to see and that's all we will get. Till the day he dies, probably.

In some ways that's a shame, but that's his business. What is appalling is the fact that he cannot get his records played on radio. Tony Blackburn was suspended from Classic Gold for playing Living Doll. You know how it goes " Got myself a walking, talking,"etc. We can hear the tune in our heads, just not on our radios. The station bosses don't like him.

Well some listeners do. There's a lot of rubbish on the airwaves. That's fine by me. I'll turn off. Cliff's fans have earned the right to hear their hero sometimes and he has earned the right to stay silent.

Wednesday 16 November 2011

Out of Afghanistan Now

Watching the WAGS of serving soldiers in Afghanistan singing their hearts out in The Choir makes me want to cry. One wife said she was thrilled when when she heard Bin Laden was dead because she thought her man could come home - small hope.

Why are we keeping them out there? Can anyone really say? Just finished Bomb Hunters by Sean Rayment. Read it. It tells of pointless patrols, endless IEDs, wasted lives and supreme courage. It makes you incredibly proud of the guys but deeply angry that they keep on dying.

What for? How are we fighting terrorism by allowing young men to lose their limbs and lives? There is a suggestion that our troops are keeping the population safe from the extremes of the Taliban I'd say that's a soldier talking, not a realist. Sean is an ex-soldier turned writer. He tells it like it is, having walked in their footsteps.

Another Remembrance Sunday is over. We stay silent and think of them for two minutes. Time to do much more than that. Afghanistan is not worth another life. Get them home.

Monday 14 November 2011

Tempting Botox Curry

Have a curry and risk botulism or not? That is the question. I've got a jar of a well-known sauce in the cupboard. Balti, a firm favourite.Today there's a scare with the korma version after two children have been taken to hospital with botulism poisoning.

Now what? Do I make the curry anyway, say nothing and feel fairly confident that all will be well? Or do I ditch the jar and avoid the brand because if there is even a tiny chance that my kids could get a very serious infection I would never forgive myself?

Logically I know that would be a massive over-reaction. It's only one jar, of a particular batch and botulism itself is rare. Emotionally I take all of that in and then decide I don't want to touch the stuff.

Makes you think how much we depend on the standards of the food industry to ensure that what we buy is safe. If I'd missed the news today chances are the curry would have been fine tonight and we would all have been none the wiser. As it is I think we are looking at good old fish and chips.

Friday 11 November 2011

Call Girl And Her Toy Boy

The prostitute and the ToysRUs executive - the games they play! Slogan "Where Toys are a Big Deal! Yep, I can bet they were. The girl got a lot more than a couple of Barbies. Dawn Dunbar ended up with a £132,000 Bentley, a Lexus and properties in Oxfordshire, Berkshire and Nigeria after a fraudster from the toy firm fell in love with her. Paul Hopes, 59, embezzled £3.7m in a bid to win her favours.

Crikey! The court said that the payments made "far exceeded the expected rate for sexual services." How very true. Where I come from it's said to be " five quid for a short time" to which the usual response is " Haven't had five quid for a long time!"

Besotted Hopes could have tickled her with TransFormers, buying two and getting a third free, zapped her with a Nerf or stuck to good old fashioned Lego. Whatever. Brings a whole new meaning to imaginative play.

Wednesday 9 November 2011

Brave Jack Widdowson Battles On

Some people seem born to bring beauty to the world. Often they come with courage, intelligence and humour too. They make life worth living.

Jack Widdowson is such a person. Today, aged 19, he lies critically injured after someone beat him senseless and left him for dead beside a tow path in Cardiff. Jack had been out celebrating the biggest success of his life, triumphing to become one of the youngest dancers ever to take a lead role with the BernBallett company in Switzerland.

A talented hockey and rugby player, Jack also won a near-fatal battle with meningitis only three years ago. Now he has a serious neck injury and his devastated family are at his bedside. "Jack has always been physically, mentally and emotionally strong which enabled him to persue his career in dance. He is an entertaining person with a great sense of humour, well loved by everyone who knows and works with him," they said.

I look at Jack in The Times today and I could weep with them. We need the Jacks of this world. With his exceptional gifts we are all blessed. He is fighting hard now. If I could take on just one of his battles I would do it in a heartbeat. Like so many others, all I can do is wish him well.

Tuesday 8 November 2011

Bouncers at our Hospitals

Been to A and E recently? Our struggling hospitals are on their knees and the people there are useless. Not the staff - although some of them are. Mostly, they are doing a great job under horrendous circumstances.

It's your average punter who turns up at 11pm. Forget about the drunks, how I wish we could, I'm talking about the sober ones. The other night a guy came in with a grazed knee. No joke. It wasn't even bleeding, but they patched him up and sent him on his way 30 minutes later.

We were there three hours. You see a lot of humanity pass through the doors in that time and the majority are total time-wasters. They come with a sprain. Or a cut on the cheek, though the dirty rag he was holding against that was so filthy he probably left with tetanus.

What is the matter with these people? Are they so pathetic they can't slap on a plaster? We need what the Newcastle pubs go in for - bouncers on the doors. They would send the obvious riff-raff packing and let the staff get on with the folk who really need their help. This sort of stupidity is costing us all millions while some people can't get cancer drugs. It's got to stop.

Wednesday 2 November 2011

Gift Ideas? Here's Some For Free

They're dropping through the door, landing on the mat. Christmas catalogues, back again, like old friends you thought you'd seen the back of. Stacks of helpful suggestions - all of them crap. Plenty of advice out there but here's some for free.

Gardeners do not want wellies, posh or not. Or trugs. For cut flowers. Nobody needs a trug. Chefs do not want knives. Even knives in bright, colourful blocks. They've got knives, good ones, and yours are cheap and nasty. No.

Mums do not want hoovers, especially robot ones that roar like a Spitfire and miss bits. They do not want blenders, or the coffee machine that he fancies. Get that in the sales. They do not want fat jumpers, cosy socks or hankies, ever. Likewise garden candles, poaching pans - even if Delia did cause a sell-out - racks of spice and mulled wine kits. They do not want anything with OXFAM written on it, unless it's from the kids and they are under ten.

That's it really. Other stuff is fine. Wine, chocolates,, classic silver jewelry and cashmere, as long as it washes. A good bag, not a designer joke that cost the price of a holiday. In fact, scrap all that. Just have the holiday and get away from the mad circus altogether.