Anyone Seen Missing Student?

A week ago a young man of 18 walked out of a student bar in London and disappeared. No one has seen him since. There's a link on Facebook for Anthony Soh but not a lot else, just CCTV footage showing him a few hundred yards away from the bar.

Have you ever tried to get information on missing people in the UK? Laura Richards did through the Freedom of Information Act. She wrote to the National Policing Improvements Agency asking for the statistics for missing people over the last five years. She wanted to know how many were under 16. That was in October 2010. They did not have the information.

Maybe Anthony will turn up safe and well. Of Chinese parents from Kent, Anthony was living in London. It's a big city and it's easy to feel lonely, although Anthony had many college friends. London is also clearly a place where you can vanish without trace. There's not even a number on a public list for you. If he had been a young woman who never made it home to bed would things have been different? Perhaps so.

Stuff of Night Mares

I'm all for the weird and wacky. Life's dull if you can't be different, but the latest extreme sport has me reeling. To wit, guys ride a skateboard behind a galloping horse. Pulled by a rope behind a heaving, sweating, kicking, rearing half-ton animal with steel caps on its feet and a brain the size of a walnut. Does that sound good to you?

Trust me, I know of which I speak. We own such an animal and a more cantankerous chestnut mare never munched oats. Horses are dim. And wilful. The old saying: "You tell a gelding. ask a mare and make an appointment with a stallion" holds true. They like to have their head. I would no way get close to the rear end of one standing still, never mind be hauled along by one at full stretch.

They have a habit of stopping suddenly when they see a paper bag. Puddles give them apoplexy. They are not keen on stuff coming up behind them and tend to panic. Not so fond of folk in front either, that's when the hooves come into play. Dangerous? Too right they are.

Have your sport boys but stick to quad bikes for the tow. At least then you can get it to stop before it rockets over the fence. Be as mad as you like but forget the four-legged lunatics.

Lovely Liz Taylor Leaves the Stage

So it's goodbye to Liz Taylor who died today aged 79. Is there anyone who can't picture her in her prime? Think Cleopatra. It's Liz you see. What a stunner! Nobody could deny her beauty, with those amazing violet eyes, but this was a superstar in every sense.

Too many celebrities get big for their boots, doing the diva bitch with knobs on. Liz really was a superstar, but she could be as down to earth as a road-sweeper. Met her once. She was well into her fifties but looking fantastic in skin tight jeans so I said so. She was thrilled and revealed:" They are my daughter's but I borrowed them!" Get into your kid's jeans! Go girl!

Liz battled with bad health all her life. Her weight went up and down. Bouts of inactivity sent it soaring, but still the men loved her. Seven husbands and she married Richard Burton twice. So it didn't last - but they were smokin! Enough chemistry there to blow up a battleship. Couldn't be together but couldn't stay apart.

No man alive could have resisted her in her prime. Even as a 12-year-old in National Velvet she was surely something special. Forget the fat frump she ended up, Liz was stella. Might not see her sort again.

Butt Naked Gets My Vote

Our politicians drop their pants but not many do so on stage. If they moon, it is to the mistress rather than an audience of hundreds. It's s small thing we can be grateful for.

They rob us blind. but performing in a bikini - or even nappies - is not something our elected representative seem particularly prone to. Not so in Haiti. There, they like a leader who is, shall we say, outre. That's why Michael "Sweet Mickey" Martelly looks set to beat the more strait-laced Mirlande Manigat in the presidential elections. The one-time pop singer and crack junkie is heading for a landslide.

Lord knows Haiti has it's problems. The earthquake last January that killed 230,000 and left 1.5m homeless for one. The 680,000 people still living in tents 14 months on would agree to that, along with the 400,000 who survived the cholera epidemic. Another 5,000 who died could be considered well out of it.

So Mr Martelly"s mispent youth is small potatoes. He's promised to sweep out corruption and rebuild. Not a lot to ask. Apparently his message is "You've seen me butt-naked so you know me. What you see is what you get. " Clever that, even I am warming to the guy.

That's A Star for Simon Cowell

Never heard of Simon Cowell? That's you stuffed then. If you are an American teenager that is, hoping to get into a top, Ivy League university. The X factor judge starred on a SAT exam, aimed at sorting the achievers from the average.

Parents in the States spend a fortune preparing their little darlings, with extra tuition costing up to £3,000. So it came as a bit of a shock to find that all that algebra came to zero when the kids were asked about popular culture.

They are livid! All those tantrums, as the youth were denied telly in favour of study. For what? They were stumped when asked:" Do people benefit from forms of entertainment that show so-called reality, or are such forms of entertainment harmful?" Kids who watch Cowell"s American Pop Idol stormed it.

One dad spluttered:" I'm proud he doesn't watch television and then he goes into the one test that really counts and gets pummelled!" That's what comes of force-feeding. The kids can't think for themselves as they re-gurgitate all the stuff they think is needed. No room for imagination. It's a shame for the students, but maybe those pushy parents will think again.

Shame of Jamie's Dream

Jamie's Dream looks like a car-crash. Nightmares you wake up from, this is harsh reality. Will they boot off Megga Mouth? Alvin thinks they should and he talks sense. Not like David Starkey. Is he sane? He said the obnoxious creature should be an opera singer! This after she caused uproar in the classroom, swearing and shouting while insisting on centre stage. Jaw-dropping arrogance.

Alvin Hall jetted in from the States only to find his class couldn't be bothered to turn up on time. Par for this course. Jamie sympathises with the hard life some of the kids have. He says they are " Bright as buttons" Alvin disagrees. Not bright by American standards. Clever, street smart, with a smattering of emotional intelligence - he's being kind here - but no, definitely not bright. Top marks to the man who tells it like it is.

It's depressing. So many massive egos, kids so full of themselves with nothing to be proud of. Jamie will think it's a shame if they fail to succeed. I say shame is what they are short of, along with respect, discipline... the list goes on.

Cosmos Delight with Brian Cox

Only One can reveal the wonders of the heavens - and it's not God.The truth about where we all came from and where we are going is far more amazing than any made-up bible story. Born of a dying star billions of years ago! Better than any garden of Eden run by a glory-seeking God, who banishes those who break the rules.

The Prof, Brian Cox, was explaining the cosmos to us again last night. Genius with a Manchester accent. Get a glimmer of what he is saying and amazement and awe don't come close. He fires you up, far more than any Sunday sermon.

Only one :"You're losing me Brian" moment. All to do with quarks, which turn out to be "exotic stars made up of quark or strange matter." Does that sound like someone you know.? Exactly. Electrifying! But the best bit of all is that, although everything, and that really is everything, is made of the same stuff, we are the only things that know it. Little, weak, silly us. We alone have understanding. Is that not the most uplifting thing ever?

With Friends Like These

Just what a Prince needs - an old flame mouthing off to the press about how scared he is. All those perks going down the pan? Of course Andrew is worried. Not that much though. He reckons we all owe him a living, and a luxurious one at that, simply by accident of birth. His mum asked if he could be given the special envoy job, and she is such a little diamond nobody could refuse her.

Though privately, doubts must have been raised. Andy has never been one for curbing his arrogance. He staged a brief popularity revival during his stint as a helicopter pilot during the Falklands war, but that was a short, sharp conflict and the chances are that he was never in any real danger.

The rest of the time he has been strutting the world stage, soaking up masses of largesse. Girlfriend Goga Ashkenazi says: "He is doing the most amazing job for no personal gain!" Do you believe that - with a deal £3m over the asking price for his house? No me neither.

Any Trade Envoy would be deluged with gifts from dodgy types with something to gain. Nature of the job. Andrew would be mad to think it is because they like him personally. Just like Gaddafi, he only gets what he gets because of the position he holds. The love of the people? That has to be earned

Teach French toddlers or British teens?

French kids are learning Shakespeare. From the age of three. How brilliant - but how bad does it make us look? We are rubbish at Shakespeare. Schools have dumped the bard in favour of Eastenders.

Take the lass on Jamie's Dream School the other night who came over all excited when told Shakespeare came from Stratford. "That's where I'm from!" she yelled. No, that's Stratford-on-Avon, not Stratford, north London. More haunt of the hoodie than home of the playwright.

The kids were told they were failures. One found out he was too fat to move. That's telling them. Home truths. Completely out of order, but bang on for all that. This arsey crew are worse than hellish. Don't shout if you can yell is their only rule. One girl who has her tie around her head bandana-style says "Shar arp!" a lot. I think she wants them to be quiet. Jamie's got about six weeks to bring them round, with the help of his expert team. They include Cherie Blair and Robert Winston.

Best of British luck to them. My money's on the French toddlers.

Madman and his Tax Bill

Derrick Bird cannot be excused. His murderous killing spree left a dozen dead, including his twin brother and the solicitor he thought were ganging up against him. He toured the countryside causing bloody carnage as he shot innocent people at random when they stopped to help him. No pity there then.

But is anyone else not surprised that it was a tax demand that finally sent him over the edge? Have you had one of those things? They threaten seizure of goods and bailiffs at the door if the amount due is not immediately forthcoming. This of people who are normally good payers.

Bird hadn't paid tax for 15 years, but it seems did not really owe anything. Doesn't take a genius to guess that the demand he was faced with was not gently worded. They tend to go in full-throttle. Enough to bring anyone out in a clammy sweat even if they have paid their dues, let alone let it slide a bit.

Nobody is suggesting the taxman is even a tiny bit to blame for the evil that befell Cumbria that day. Bird is the guilty party, no question. Just wondered though how much anxiety and misery is caused by bureaucrats using terminology aimed at scaring people into instant action. Bird feared prison and thought he had nothing else to lose. Twelve people paid the price.