Saturday 17 April 2010

Blubber Beater?

Just where does it go? Fat girls will always squeeze their wobbly bits into latex. Muffin top - a summer delight. But the boys are doing it too. There's a new T shirt that promises to trim one and a half inches of his tummy. Is that all? Begging you boy - stand clear of the rail! Seriously because - where does the gut go? Is that an enormous Adam's apple there pal, or is there something deeply weird poking out of your pants?
Clingy means hot. Sweaty doesn't cover it and it looks like nerves to us girls. That's pretty off-putting. It gets worse. The thing grips tighter than a nut on a wheel and the NOISE it makes as he heaves it over his head. Think squeaky rubber toy, though not in a nice way.
Half way through the struggle and something damp,limp and twisted could be gripping him just beneath the arms, glistening blubber breaking free on either side. Final straw - you could be cutting it off him. That's worse case scenario, obviously, but ladies, would you hang around?
Testers say the shirts are slimming but they are not for the hot date. Well, there you go, who would have thought it?

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