This is the funniest thing I have read in ages, so I am sharing it in full, with credits at the end. It is entitled: The Least Successful Attempt To Go To The Lavatory and this is it."On a flight from Florida to Hanover Johann Grzeganek, a German tourist, was desperate to relieve himself shortly after takeoff.
"He could wait no longer, despite the insistence of the cabin crew that he stay seated while the seatbelt sign was on. It was far too late for this, so Grzeganek jumped up from his seat and giving a top drawer performance shouted in German, 'I have to go urgently to the lavatory, otherwise I will go through the roof, I am exploding!"
"Hearing the words 'Ich explodiere," the cabin crew, who spoke no German, assumed he was a suicide bomber and alerted the pilot, who dumped all his fuel and did an emergency landing at Fort Lauderdale.
"There Grzeganek was arrested and imprisoned for 10 months to await trial. When his case eventually came to court the judge dismissed it and apologised to him. Even then his ordeal wasn't over. Rearrested outside the prison because his tourist visa had run out, he was sent back to prison in Miami to await deportation.
"In the hands of a real artist even the simplest, everyday event can be transformed into a surreal drama of many acts." Huge thanks to Stephen Pile writing this in the Sunday Times news review section today. Buy the paper, there's loads more where that came from.
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