My, but those Grizzlies are picky eaters! Camper Deb Freele woke to find one snacking on her arm so she played dead and the bear stopped munching. Just what was that bear thinking? "Damn, should've nibbled the ears a bit first. Far too impatient, that's me. Gone right off it now it's dead!"
Must be a lot of hungry Grizzlies about, judging by the size of those teeth. Death looks like a fairly rapid outcome. True some campers stink like a five-day corpse but surely the bear can tell when they are shamming? That's what the experts say though. Can't outrun them, or outclimb them so play dead and they leave you alone.
Maybe bears do it delicately, the way that if you bite the end off an ice cream cone you have to make a rush job of it. Far better to lick lightly at first. Be hard to pay dead with a bear licking lightly around the extremities.
That's the trouble with experts. You just know they've never been there. Bears are getting a break from Stella McCartney who is working on a new fabric for bearskin hats. Needs to be water repellent like the real thing apparently. Or nylon. And those hats! So past their sell-by.
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