Sunday 10 October 2010

Depp Disappointment

Johnny darling what are you doing? Turning up at a school? Fantastic for the kids but clearly, totally wasted on them. You are just a nice actor guy dressed up in a lot of weird kit to them. Looking a bit orange, if truth be told. Imagine when they went home and told mum.
" WHAAAT!!! Johnny Depp? The real Johnny Depp? Is he still there? Where's me make-up. Can't find my fat-busting knickers! Why didn't anyone TELL ME???" Gut wrenching to be the mum of a kid whose been close enough to smell Johnny Depp and not had a whiff of him yourself.

Friend's teenage daughter gave Johnny a phone guide to nearby Framlingham Castle. Took his money. Did it make the till? Anyone sensible would've made it into a necklace worn close to the heart. Always.

Don't care if he looks a bit poncey for South London in all his film gear. So what if he's a bit heavy on the eyeliner? The man is magic to any mum over 40 and we would all happily prostrate ourselves before him were he to grace us with as much as a glance.

Husband reckons Johnny wouldn't trust himself next to one such as moi, being a happily married man and all. How kind. Just wish he'd take the chance, that's all.

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