Top of the ten best places to get banjaxed out of your brain - Camden in London. While us Geordies can expect to be shoved into the paddy-wagon with not so much as a "Mind ya heed!" in Camden things are far more genteel.
They hand out lollies not clouts for a start. And biscuits, tea and coffee, squash and water. Up North you need to be bedded down among the Evening Chronicles to come across such largesse. Or down at a blood-donor session. in Camden all that's needed is a few over the odds and they are all over you with the freebies.
Included - get this - flip-flops! For the drunken bints in high heels who keep falling over. What's wrong with bare feet? Worked in my day. Are we getting soft or just soft in the head? Get too many down and you should be getting them all back up again behind the pub, feeling rubbish and hoping you get a taxi not a lift with the law to the local nick.
A night in the cells being woken every thirty minutes is the room service of choice for the over-imbiber in Newcastle. Not coffee and a bickie off some nice posh lady from the local council. Course we do breed them hard up there " where the men are men and the women are men" but in these days of austerity measures perhaps cutting down on the alcopops may be the way to go.
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