Essex girls - what a laugh! What makes an Essex girl's eyes light up - a torch shone in her ear. Or the difference between an Essex girl and a supermarket trolley? The trolley has a mind of its own. Seems the ladies in white stilettos don't find it funny. They need a charity to help them cope. It's called the Essex Women's Advisory Group. I'll send the cheque off straight away.
Orphanages in Romania can wait. Haiti eat your heart out, charity begins in Chelmsford. The girls need help because they "crumble when people start putting them down for where they come from, " says Elizabeth Hart patron of the charity. Poor little dears are desperate.
Except that they're not, Essex girls are much better, brighter and feistier than that. Just like us Geordie girls. Or Scousers. We all get lip - and we smack it right back, big time. That's the fun. Is Cheryl Cole ashamed of her roots? No way, she's cashing in. Sling your charity, we don't need it!
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