Tuesday 9 March 2010

Stop sucking and start blowing

Ever had to blow into the bag? A breathalyser that is. Seems people think there are all sorts of ways to beat it. Silly boy JPR Williams thought sucking pennies would work. Something about the copper. Well the one that jumped out in front of me at 3am one night as I was haring home from Wapping came within a whisper of a last breath. Bet his life flashed before him.

Two glasses of wine in, no point denying it. That was when time was called at 11p.m. so with luck... I think the copper was a tad disappointed, and he did deserve something for his fright, poor lamb. Sent me off with a warning to slow down and then probably nipped into the van for a stiff one himself.

Holding breath, blowing lightly and sucking pennies doesn't work. Neither does smiling brightly at the poor lad you almost delivered to eternity. If you are still out there, working the cold, empty nights devoid of life, a huge sorry from the madwoman who almost took yours.

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