Porkie alert! Is your antenna twitching? Mine is after watching The Apprentice. Someone is trying to pull a flanker and it's not going to be pretty. Sir Alan's righteous wrath will be a joy to behold. Can't wait for the mighty axe to fall.

It's Stuart. He's rather fond of himself. "Let's start a new company!" the youth exclaimed. "Outrageous! " said the boss. Not sure he was convinced Stuart could make good on his promise to make millions. That gleam in Sir Alan's eye was not greed - he smells blood.

This troublesome child has come up with such cobblers that they must smack him in the face sooner or later. Next week sees the nit-pickers going through CVs. Exaggeration is not unknown. It is also Stuart's stock in trade. He has never knowingly sold himself short.

Has he been honest? What do you think? Me, I'm convinced the Whiskered One is hot on the trail. He smells a bull with dreadful tummy trouble. When that stuff hits the fan next week there will be such a wonderful stink the long dead will sit up and take notice. You have been warned.