Ever fancied cruising? On a ship that is, not Clapham Common. Both seem to require an ability to cope with the unexpected. I'm not fond of surprises. The high seas seem fraught with horrors, ice bergs and storms, not to mention sicky viruses and breakdowns.
The trick seems to be to stuff yourself silly on endless food then catch a vomit virus to pass the time till you get back. Or watch heaving water or passengers all day, take your pick. Not for me. So I do sympathise with the holidaymakers aboard the cruise ship Carnival Spendour arriving in San Diego after three days without electricity. That's no flushing toilets to you and me. Or showers. Needless to say, they stink.
"The whole bottom deck smells like rotten milk. There's faeces everywhere. It's disgusting, " said bride Stacey Noriega after a memorable honeymoon. Not much splendour there then. No amount of free booze will make up for that.
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